Autobiography (2019 - 347 pp.)
In From the Ashes, Jesse Thistle chronicles his life to date, from a troubled childhood to homelessness as a young adult, before attending university and then becoming a professor at York University. The book is entirely in first person, written by Thistle, interspersed with pictures of him, his family, and any other people of note. I read this book as part of the University of Alberta Alumni Book Club.
From the Ashes opens in medias res, in prison, with a devastating assault, possibly murder, on an inmate. (3-4) This is one of the most exciting prologues I've read in a while, and it frames Thistle's story perfectly: difficulty surviving. The prison assault has an American History X feel to it. If it were included chronologically like the rest of the story, it would likely fit into "Solitary Confinement". (252) From there, Thistle goes all the way back to his first memories, where his life begins.
From the Ashes is split into four parts:
- Lost and Alone (1979-1987)
- Falling Apart (1988-1996)
- The Stolen Streets (1998-2007)
- Reconciliation (2008-2017)
Each part is divided into a number of smaller chapters, ranging anywhere from 2-10 pages, which makes From the Ashes an incredibly fast read. There is rarely a time when the reader simply does not have time to read more chapter. This process snowballs into reading entire parts in one go. "Lost and Alone" covers Thistle's childhood, starting when he lives alternately with each of his divorced parents, then briefly in foster care, then with his grandparents. "Falling Apart" covers the period when Thistle goes from being a troubled but manageable child to developing anger, mental health and addiction issues. "The Stolen Streets" covers Thistle's young adulthood, on-again off-again homelessness, gruesome leg injury, and imprisonment. "Reconciliation" covers his ascent from these problems to life as a professor. The only thing really missing from From the Ashes is Thistle's work as a doctoral student, which would have been a fascinating read after reading all the rest.
Thistle is the narrator and the protagonist, which binds the reader to him, but he is careful never to present himself as a proverbial "good guy". Thistle commits his first violent crime as an early teenager, when he robs a boy named Ivan in twilight on the boy's front yard; it is one of Thistle's cruelest moments, and it is astonishing he was never reported and arrested for it. (110) Thistle relays his extensive use of welfare fraud schemes during an unrelated criminal trial, (see below) which he describes in vivid detail.* (204)
Nonetheless, a litany of horrors is thrown in Thistle's face, none of which are entirely his fault. His first exposure to heroin use was stumbling upon his father, in "Hornet", injecting in the bathroom. His father describes the needle as a hornet in the skin, which contains medicine that would be harmful to Thistle. (22) This statement comes very true as the book goes on. In a sober moment, Thistle takes temporary employment in manual labour jobs in Vancouver, some of which never pay even when he does the work. In the worst case, Jesse's reaction was one that would later become horror: "'What's asbestos?' I asked. 'Nobody told me.'" (163) Thistle accidentally meets the two murderers of Baljinder Singh Rai, the Greater Toronto Area's first murder of 2000. The murderers attempt to use him as an unwitting accomplice, which leads to him testifying against himself (on the welfare fraud-related matters mentioned above) in open court. (197) Although Thistle's brothers become successful, including the irony of one becoming an RCMP officer despite the Thistle family's history of criminality, Thistle ends up in situations that either lead him to abuse or lead him to be abused. The scene in which Thistle's father has all three preschool-aged sons, including Thistle, help him rob a convenience store has the unfortunate distinction of being both. (23-26)
One of the main messages of From the Ashes is the importance of not getting in your own way. Thistle loses his girlfriend Karen, who he met when she brought blueberry muffins to a house party, (139) by cheating on her. Thistle's blackout in a nightclub, which happens while he is accompanied by a mysterious man named Rex whose relationship to Thistle is unmentioned and who is unmentioned anywhere else in the book, occurs due to his self-described lack of awareness. (169-173)
Thistle's leg injury, which bothers him to this day (or at least to the time of the book's publication), happens due to his unaided attempt to scale his brother's wall, "like Spider-Man". Thistle was locked out of the apartment building during a fight with his brother and his then-girlfriend. Thistle's lines describing the event are very poetic, although I am sure he would have preferred to not be writing them from first-hand experience:
People who say your life flashes before you when you’re about to die are full of shit. What does happen is your world slows down—seconds feel like hours, the sounds all around become clearer, colours and lights become so bright you can see everything—every bug and creepy-crawly thing in existence. (232)
As the book goes on, a diametric opposition emerges between Thistle's interactions with public authorities and his increasing ability to set his own goals. The near-constant presence of government in Thistle's life, from the Children's Aid workers who take him away from his father at the start of the book to the police officers who arrest him to the prison system that holds him during his 20s, is a nod to the ever-presence of government in Thistle's life. It is when Thistle is recovering from his various drug addictions that he notices just how institutionalized his life has become: “Those cinder blocks seemed to follow me
wherever I went—the ones found in jails, mental institutions, probation
offices, hospitals, detox centres, detention centres, shelters, Sally Anns,
welfare offices, court holding cells, police bullpens.” (295) All of the institutions Thistle mentions here, other than the Salvation Army and some of the shelters, are run by governments.
Arguably the greatest line in From the Ashes is when Thistle sets out how he is going to escape this centrifuge of despair: by setting small, incremental goals. This is how Thistle ultimately overcomes his difficulties with systems like university applications, moving toward becoming the professor he is today:
I’d literally set one- or two-minute goals—If I can just make it to the next minute, I thought, then I might have a chance to live; I might have a chance to be something more than just a struggling crackhead. (313)
The first line above is one of the lines I most identified with in From the Ashes, primarily because I have a noted history of running and I am an Orangetheory Fitness member. When you run, each 0.1 of a mile (or kilometre) motivates you toward the finish line, toward a new personal best, or toward wherever you may end up. When you think, "I have three more miles to run", it is almost depressing unless you are running a marathon. When you think, "just to the next 0.1," or "just to the next street", it feels like you can do it endlessly. One of the topics Thistle comes back to frequently in From the Ashes is how often he was running from something. Running toward something is what saves him.
As a Canadian reader, I felt a connection to some of the places and topics Thistle discusses. Thistle's time in Toronto plugs Sam the Record Man, where I went before its 2007 closure; MuchMusic, which I watched religiously on Friday afternoons growing up;** the Royal Ontario Museum, where I am a member;*** and the Hudson's Bay Company, where I've shopped many times. Seeing the reaction of someone as Canadian as I am, yet so different from me, to these iconic places was one of the more reality-checking moments of From the Ashes: it holds that the old phrase "this happens where you live" is true. On a quainter note, I found various characters' use of, and others' difficulty understanding, Michif to be interesting. As someone who speaks French as a second language, but had never seen Michif written out before reading From the Ashes, I found I could read the Michif phrases in the book seamlessly.
One of Thistle's favourite early memories is Christmas. His family got together, whichever members were living in close enough proximity any given year, and the food shortages Thistle experienced growing up were in temporary abeyance. (72) The return to family shows through when Thistle tracks down his brothers, whenever he sees his mother, and perhaps most notably, when a chance meeting with a fellow teenager becomes foreshadowing for meeting his wife. (84) As Thistle's grandfather tells him when he is a child: "family is the most important thing." (89)
Ease of Reading: 9
Educational Content: 4
*Thistle states: “They give out $1,000 for start-up if you have
that. It’s to get you set up in a place with food and clothes—all that shit.
But most people just scam it for money and stay at a friend’s house. I do it all
the time—forge rental documents so I have some money—” (204)
**I am convinced the MuchMusic Countdown provided me with context for two of my great loves: music and lists. Loud and Pop-Up Video were good too.
***Note to bearded readers during these COVID-19 times: if you are going to wear a mask for 2-3 hours in a public place that requires it, shave first. My pet theory is that mask wearing will finally end the beard trend of the past 18 or so years.
